You’re Still Fierce When You’re Healing

I want to be completely honest with you…

I haven’t cammed in almost 2 weeks.
I haven’t filmed, written, updated my OF or even engaged with the community on social media.
I’ve barely even had the energy to get out of bed – my hair is a mess of grease and knots from not washing it for longer than I’d like to admit.

Between feeling physically sick and emotionally low, I’ve been caught in this dark and confusing space – where my body and mind are begging for rest, but a little part of my brain keeps whispering:
“Kristin, you should be doing more.”

I’ve felt waves of guilt and laziness.
Listened to the inner voice ridicule me:
“You’re useless, worthless.”

Why do I feel this way?
Because when work is tied to your presence, not showing up feels like you’re disappearing. Like you’re falling behind.
Like you’re failing.

But deep down, there’s a soft and pure part of me that grasps onto the truth:

• You’re still worthy on your quiet days ✨
• You’re still valuable when you’re not performing 💎
• You’re still fierce – even when you don’t feel like it 💜

Nobody really speaks the truth…
The truth about how heavy this industry can be sometimes – not just as a woman or a content creator, but as an adult entertainer.

The pressure to always look good, feel good, perform well, hit your goals, manage your money, keep your boundaries, promote yourself, please your audience, lower your prices, rebrand, push down your feelings, smile more…
It doesn’t really stop, does it?

Until suddenly, you hit a brick wall.
You break down, you burn out, you collapse.
You can’t just force that smile and hide all of that pressure behind anymore.
Then what happens?

You spiral…
And that voice rears its evil head:
“You’re letting so many people down. You’re not making enough money for your bills. You’re weak. Suck it up and get on with it.”

But that’s not the truth. And it’s not your voice.
It is the unkind, unfair saboteur that lives in every single one of us – the part that wants to kick us when we’re already low.

What that voice doesn’t know is the power that you hold beneath it.
Because you know, deep in your bones, that life happens.

We get sick, tired, burnt out, depressed, anxious.
Sometimes we might cry in bed for days, not being able to brush our hair or eat a mouse sized crumb.
And sometimes, we really can’t explain the hurt or the reason behind why we do.

But that’s okay! We deserve to have space for these feelings without attaching shame and guilt to them.

So if you’re reading this and you are like me in this current moment, battling with that overwhelming fog that seems never ending, please know this…

You are not alone.
You are not lazy.
You are not falling behind.
You are not any less fierce for healing.

Breathe deeply.
Stay in bed for a day.
Maybe even ten days…
Just take all of the time that your body needs – the clock doesn’t matter.

The world will still be here when you’re ready to face it again. Your dreams will still be here. Everything that you love will still be right here – where it always is.

Resting is not a weakness, it’s the most important part of the process.
And Fierce doesn’t mean never falling – It means standing back up when you fall down, in your own time, in your own way.

With love,